What is the difference between love and relationship? Perhaps you haven’t even thought of this question till now, because you consider love and relationship to be so intertwined, almost identical. But is it? Let’s take a look.

So many of you have heard the term unconditional love. What does that actually mean? And by looking at the meaning of unconditional love, we’ll start answering the question of the difference between love and relationship.

So, unconditional love means love, the feeling the embodiment of it, the enacting of love as it is, no matter the conditions. I personally like to actually call it unconditional and all-conditional love, which means that no matter the conditions I love you, and whatever conditions are going to be present at one given time I am going to love you all the same in essence, in feeling and in practice. So love being unconditional does not just mean conditions of what arise in situations outside of us: Let’s say you go out on a date and there’s some sort of conflict between your partner and somebody else; that is also a condition. But another condition is also interaction. You see it’s very very basic. What do I mean by that?

Love needs no interaction for it to exist. Now a lot of you will be thinking: Elli how is that possible? I love somebody but I have to see them. But do you? Do you really?

Think of any very dear friends that you are no longer friendly with, meaning you’re no longer meeting them, you’re no longer in interaction with them, in an active relationship with them, but every time you think of them, they still feel very dear to you. A lot of us actually have a member of our family, a loved one or a very dear friend that has passed on and yet we can still feel their presence. Perhaps this could be a grandparent, even a parent or very very close person to us, and if you’ve lost someone I know that you can resonate. If you tune in in any situation that you are in your life, you can almost sense and know even sometimes what they would tell you, where they would stand and what their advice would be.

So that is love and you see when a relationship has discontinued- and that means in physical dimensions whether the person has passed on or just the relationship the way of relating essentially with each other has passed on and is no more- the essence of love and the genuine connection and feeling and also intention that we give and we have by default now towards that person is always there. Because love is unconditional of time and space. It is immortal and it’s infinite. That is why love can never die and that is why one of the most succinct and on the point definitions of grief, is love that cannot find its way into expression. Why? Because there is no other in the physical realm for us to express it to.

Let’s look at relationship now. Things in a relationship is very very different. When I mean relationship, I mean an active relationship, relating in the three-dimensional world, an on-going involved engagement with another. So relationship does have conditions. In order for somebody to say that our relationship is active and alive, that means that interaction still exists and of course interaction has a condition of meeting somebody and interacting with them in three-dimensional space, be it via zoom or via telephone or in person, but there’s still an alive interaction. Also the two parties that have the relationship are completely different people with completely different personalities. Even if they are very much alike they have different needs and they have different desires and they have different ways of interacting with the rest of the world. And so different needs and different desires will arise at different times. So one of the conditions of a healthy active relationship is a healthy loving way of communication. That means respecting each other, seeing each other, understanding and accepting of course the needs of each other and even striving to meet them better and better. The best kind of relationships are when one person stretches out genuinely and asks you “How can I be a better friend? How can I meet your needs better? How can I love you better? What can I do that’s going to make you happier?” So genuine care which is of course love, and therefore compassion, respect and genuine aligned communication, all these are some of the conditions of relationship.

So to sum it all up, love has no conditions. Relationships have conditions in order to be still active, to be alive. So ask yourself: Have you ever transcended older friendships? That means that you still thought well of a person, really lovingly, and also at the same time you felt that it was the most aligned thing to no longer hang out with them, to no longer extend your relationship in time and space. If this has happened to you, you know that you have chosen to discontinue their relationship in love and out of love, and not out of an egoistic perspective. So that means that you’re actually transcended that relationship because you’re understanding that it’s going to be a mutual benefit to both, because of how you have changed and how you are changing right now. This kind of discernment takes maturity and when there is genuine love embodied and enacted, there’s always maturity. Because when love is always the foundation, you know that you’re making the right decision.

To sum up: love has no conditions and relationships have conditions.

So as always, I love you and I wish you a life full of love, and relationships full of love, and decisions in and out of love.