You’ve heard of Simon Sinek and his “start with why”. Now, I’m going to complement this by saying: start with why not.
Now you may begin by thinking that start with why not is actually the opposite to starting with why. But it is actually complementing and really coming together with a bigger idea and essentially transcending duality. It is about approaching whatever it is that you do with a more easy, free, relaxed and holistic attitude. Let’s see how.
So when you find yourself at some point in your life and something’s got to change or you’re just before a major decision in your life- a change-, you start thinking about the options that you have and what you should go for and what you should not, what is the best choice for you and what is lesser best choice for you. What happens most of the time is a lot of over analyzing and overthinking. That causes you to not pair with major values that are ready to be embodied, ready for you to mature and to step into and embody your self, that is calling you for a higher version, a better version, a bigger version of who you are right here, right now. When we overthink and over analyze, we cognize. We use our thought and our thought is an instrument of the mind and what thought is, is a simulation of the world that is separated to life, cut and dry.
When we connect thought with feeling with what it is that is calling us to this upgrade, to this change in the first place, with what awareness wants to be birthed through the restlessness that you’re feeling right now, that is when you’re starting to find out what you actually want. Want is desire. Desire is a feeling and feeling is just feedback. Feelings are feedback. Feelings are rich bits of information that are telling you what you desire and how close you are to that desire or how further away you are to its fulfilment. They actually communicate to you what you are ready for, in an almost impossible way to ignore. So by using logic as a tool to understand your feelings and this current version of yourself better, is the best way forward. (This is what according to heart math, heart-brain coherence is all about. )
So at this point, you start finding out why, why you want to go into this thing, what is your priority, what is your deeper purpose in this, what mission and what vision you have around the change that you want to welcome in your life that you want to create in your life. The trap now, in only staying in the why. What can sometimes happen and hit us as a boomerang if we stay too much at why and looking at why, why, why we want to do this is that we turn all these reasons into musts. Another way of saying this is that we actually imprison ourselves in that. We put all these reasons of why we want to do this thing that we want to do on a pedestal and we can feel confined, we can feel that our freedom is lost and we can feel restless. Now if we just keep the clarity from seeing why we want to do these things and then allow ourselves to be in the most abundant and the most easy and the most rich, capable, wise, vital and loving way of stepping into that change, is to understand that there is no perfect or “best” choice for us.
We’ve accessed clarity and we’ve access clarity about what we actually want and who we actually are and what we’re ready for and that’s great news. So now we give ourselves the freedom and we reaffirm to ourselves that why not. Why not do this? Because if you actually come fundamentally right down to the reason that we are created, life, universe, do you think that there was a very logical creature that actually thought why do this, why do that? If it was all logical and efficient, it would never have happened. Because look at all this energy all these things took. Surely it wasn’t for efficiency’s sake. Most likely it was for the fun of it all. And why not?
There is this capability. Why not experience it? I desire all these things that I desire. I understand and I see what’s ready within me. I understand my capabilities and I also understand that I have yet to embody them. And what a game and a challenge and a thrill that will be for me to go on that journey! Why not? Why not make full use of myself? Why not go down this path and this path and this path? We don’t feel pressure. We don’t feel that what we identified as our purpose right now is set in stone and forever should be that way. Because in that way we imprison ourselves, we condemn to never challenge who we are and what we stand for and to never reinvent ourselves, to never question ourselves, to never see what more we can be completely outside of the framework of what we’re operating right now. Around the job that we do for instance. It could be that you’re an engineer but you want to be a dance teacher. It could be that you’re married and that you don’t want to be married. It could be that you live in this place that you live and you have all the social network that you’ve created through the years. But what about another city? What about another country? What about another continent?
So the why not question essentially infuses the why question with more ease, more relaxation, more playfulness and curiosity and vibrance. So together, very much like the yin-yang forms of the white and black fish swimming eternally into each other, they are balancing each other out is which is actually bringing about the most beneficial state to be. This is ease and calmness with direction, with absolute involvement and activation. This in neuroscience is what is called “the awakened mind”. It’s a mental state where the mind is alert and activated, yet simultaneously relaxed and calm. That is when you unite polarity, and when you unite both polar qualities, you transcend duality and you really become the master of yourself.
So what calls you at the moment? Do you have a restlessness that is trying to communicate to you something that you’re actually avoiding? Pause right now and allow yourself a couple minutes if you’re really self-invested, to see if there is something within you that’s calling you for something more, for something bigger, for something higher and better. And perhaps you may want to answer the call. Because why not?